The relationship we have with our parents is fundamental for all relationships we have in our lives, including the relationship with ourselves.
Many of us experience lingering, unresolved feelings related to one or both of our parents, such as hurt or resentment. We can also feel unmet needs, like the need to be more listened to or the need to feel connected on a deeper emotional level.
What can we do when we’re bothered by such feelings/unmet needs or when we keep encountering issues with partners that remind us of our relationship with our parent(s)?
What we can do is to to fully allow and express the feelings and unmet needs which we experience in relationship with our parent(s). In this way they become ‘unstuck’. As a result, the feelings themselves will be less heavy to carry. We can develop a more positive view of ourselves and others. This will improve our relationships. And also the relationship with our parents might improve. If that’s not possible, we might find forgiveness or at least learn to hold the parent(s) accountable and move on in our lives.
It’s important to realise that we don’t need our parent(s) to allow and express our feelings and unmet needs which we feel towards them. On the contrary, it can sometimes even be better to work on these emotions without them, as the dynamics with the parent(s) can sometimes block a fruitful emotional expression like when a parent is unwilling or unable to take the child’s perspective.
I’m happy to announce a new course where you can process your lingering, unresolved feelings towards your parents. The empty chair exercise is the main kind of exercise we will be working with. You will have a dialogue with your virtual parent(s) under my guidance. Feeling allowed to fully experience your feelings and express them out loud to your (virtual) parent(s) without being restrained by unproductive dynamics can be a powerful experience. Doing this in a group has an extra advantage: watching others talking to their (virtual) parent(s) and seeing their emotions will help you becoming more aware of your own emotions. And recognising that others share similar feelings will make you feel less isolated.
The group has another important role in this course: it will function as a safe container for your own process. To foster safety, there are some rules which are unique for this course (for example that it’s not allowed to miss more than one session).
A question that people can have when experiencing lingering unresolved feelings to a parent (or both parents) is: “Do I have the right to feel this?” or “Is it true what I feel?”. The simple answer is that in this course we won’t work with an ‘objective truth’. We will work with your feelings and experiences. And the basic premiss is that your feelings and experiences matter, no matter the ‘objective facts’. You can for example have received loving care from a parent and still have experienced that certain needs where not met. It’s sad, but even with the best intentions, parents can sometimes fail to meet certain basic needs of their children, for example when they experience stressful life circumstances like financial worries, a divorce or illness of a family member.
The aim of the course is not to put parents on trial. The focus is on your feelings, whether it’s for example unexpressed anger or an unexpressed longing for love.
The course is taught by me, Francisco Beisterveld. I’m a certified mindfulness trainer and EFT-therapist. I work also as a POH-GGZ for the student GP’s office de Uithof/Janskerkhof in Utrecht and GP’s office UT Campus in Enschede. More information about me you can find here.
Is the listed price for one session or for the whole course?
The listed price is the price for the entire course.
Can I miss a session?
Preferably you don’t miss a single session. You can miss one session by exception. If you miss more, then your participation is automatically cancelled.
Dates: 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 June, 6, 13, 20 July